Tuesday, September 27, 2016

The banter begins

I don’t know where to begin. Uh okay, here goes nothing. Who are you?

Like seriously? Is that your first question? Well anyway, I am who you think I am, and I’m also everything that you think I’m not.

It’s logical, isn’t it? If someone shows up at your door at an odd hour and says he’s a part of you, the first thing you ask is who are you? I’m unimpressed by your answer. It lacks clarity. Oh, and why are you talking like this? Like…

Like you? Like your generation? Who else do you want me to talk like? You want me to use cryptic language that no one understands? The greatest truths have been unnecessarily embedded in painfully serious language. Life is simple. Do you want me to talk like a mega intellectual philosopher?

No, but a slightly more mature approach would definitely help me in believing that this isn’t me going crazy. How can I take you seriously when you talk like me?

If you’re going to take me seriously, I better vamoose. That serious stuff really bores me.

Honestly - you get bored? Oh please don’t tell me you’re some higher power. I’m going to stir up a controversy if anyone reads what I’m writing.

Of course I get bored. I'm inside you and feel everything you do. But I do tell you this: I am who you think I am, and I’m also everything that you think I’m not. Oh, and you can’t escape that controversy thingy. People will read what you have to say. 

Did you just use the word ‘thingy’? And I have no plans of being an author. I’m just here cause this audible thought isn’t getting out of my head. I’m totally going to lose it now.

So lose it. That’s the only way you’ll understand any of this anyway. By losing it.

You need to define yourself for me. I feel like I’m talking to myself.

That's accurate. You are talking to yourself. We’re one – you and me. And you want a definition? I am who you think I am, and I’m also everything that you think I’m not.

Are you just an alter ego who’s reinforcing the loony part of me?

I don’t know. You figure it out. Like I said, I am who you think I am….’


Okay okay, stop with that standard response. I couldn’t be bothered about who you are anymore. I’d rather know why you’re here.

Thank you. I couldn’t be bothered about you asking me either. Let’s move on to why I’m here.


Okay, why are you here?

To sort your life out silly. In a language that’s uber-cool and understood by one and all.

Can I ask you anything? Like really crazy stuff?

I’d be the happiest if you only ask the crazy stuff! Shoot away, dude.

Why am I here? What’s the purpose of my life?

Oh man. Is that what you meant by crazy stuff? This is the standard question plaguing the whole of humanity. – double yawn! You bore me.

You’re dissing me! How can I possibly take you seriously? I really think this is just a random voice. Anyone holy wouldn’t make fun of me!

You shouldn’t take me seriously. In fact, you shouldn’t take anything seriously. Just chill. You know this is what your problem in life is.

I don’t have any real problems. Not until you showed up anyway. What are you talking bout?

I’m talking about what just happened. I made a little joke and you got offended. Why do you let anyone offend you? Why give them that kind of power?

Well, of course it's offensive when someone thinks little of you. Everyone wants respect, don’t they?

Okay, but if someone doesn’t respect you, how does it deplete your own self-worth?

Well, I feel I don’t measure up to expectations.

Whose expectations?

You know, people.

And why should someone else’s expectations bother you?

Uh…it just does.

It just does’. And you say I lack clarity?

Quit being a wise guy. What’s your point?

My point is that you place too much importance on people. THEIR preferences, THEIR opinions. When all you should be doing is focusing on yourself.

I do focus on myself. It’s just that these people get in the way.

You allow them to get in your way. You don’t need to.

How do I stop them?

By loving them.

Whaaaa?

You heard me. Love them. If someone offends you, love them. Insults you, love them. Teases you, love them, attacks you, love them.

Isn’t that a wussy thing to do? Come on.  

Your definitions of weakness and strength are all messed up.

I still can’t come to terms with this conversation. What if I’m making this all up?

What difference does it make? You’re not spreading hate propaganda or plotting world domination!

It’s too late in the night. I don’t want to chat further. I have to sleep over this to make sure that I’m not crazy.

Cool, good night.

Great. So is this conversation over?

Oh my sweetheart. It’s just begun. You’ll do this everyday or every other day or take long breaks between conversations, till you don’t want to anymore.

How do you know what I want or don’t want? Who are you to decide that?

I’m everything you think….

God, not that cryptic response again. I’m off to bed.

Great. I’ll wait for you at the same place, same time. Actually make that any place any time.

Okay whatever. This is crazy.

              Go already.


It’s odd how well I managed to sleep that night. I really should have been rather freaked out by what I just experienced, but instead there was this strange sense of calmness that just washed over me. I felt I was being guided towards something – but at the same time a part of me was mocking this feeling. Everyone wants to feel special, don’t they? I too did. But I began to question everything I had ever read or learnt about spirituality, life, its purpose, channeling and the like. Much later did I realise that only when we begin to question each and every one of our beliefs, and hold them up to intense scrutiny, do we make any real progress in life. I began to continue writing (but only when I really felt like), and the voice – or audible thought as I liked to call it – would show up every time. 

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